The Bear

This is how it began.

I hated yard work and gardening and then I loved it. I got rid of hideous sickly hedges and got nice, small shrubs. I weeded and dug in the ground. I stopped using gloves. My fingernails are usually filthy.

But first I was in love with an etching by Kiki Smith.

Fawn by Kiki Smith.

My friend bought this.

I decided I would like a fawn for my small garden, like this one:

Fawn statue.

I wanted to find it, at a place, as opposed to buying one online.

One day this summer my husband and I went to Tiverton, RI where they are said to have such things. We found a wondrous shop called Courtyards. They have Buddhas, birds, turtles, frogs, bunnies, cats. No fawns. I bought these birds:

I still wanted a fawn. But I told my husband that if I couldn’t find a fawn I would like a standing Bear. He said “okay”. He is used to me and my specific wants.

I got the idea of a bear because I saw an exhibit of work by Patti Smith and I wanted to buy this photo:

Tolstoy’s Bear by Patti Smith.

In real life this photograph is beautiful it cost around $12,000.00. Totally worth it but beyond my means. Still, I thought, …a bear would be nice. The woman at Courtyards told us to go further down the road to a shop called Kazarian Antiques. We drove and I said “I saw a bear!”. My husband said “ okay.” The shop was closed that day but there WAS a bear:

I went back when Richard Kazarian was there. I brought two friends to show them the bear, which they also appreciated. I thought of where in my yard I could put the bear. I took photos and touched it. Him? Her? I love the bear. The bear would cost around $3,000.00. And I would need to pay someone to get the bear, which I decided to name Gertrude, for my grandma, to my yard.

Look at this face.

I have some heirlooms I decided to sell. I sold them thanks to my friend Rich Kahan, owner of Red Bridge Antiques in Providence, RI.

My heirlooms were not worth $3,000.00.

I was, am, in love with the bear, and Patti Smith’s bear and Kiki Smith’s Fawn. Not that fawn garden sculpture.

I have really thought about this bear, Gertrude. I have imagined her in various places in my yard. I could buy Gertrude. But I am not going to buy her or him. My husband is neutral, not in love the way I am. I will visit Gertrude next summer, if she or he is still there. If we are all here.