Archive for May, 2012

The Truth About Mother’s Day

May 14, 2012

I don’t love the concept of Mother’s Day, or Black History Month, or Poetry Month, or any of those sorts of shout outs to people and events that are on the bottom rung of most ladders. If you get a day, or a month, it means you aren’t doing very well (exception:Father’s Day).
That being said, I want acknowledgement. Today I mowed the lawn, washed the tub where we feed our cats (so our dog won’t eat their food), did some laundry, put away some laundry, and vacuumed. Kind of a regular Sunday.
But first thing this morning my husband gave me a gift. It is a book I wanted (there is ALWAYS a book I want) called Are You My Mother?, by writer/artist Alison Bechdel. I love it. And my son walked about a mile to buy me a chocolate chip scone, one of my favorite baked good items. And he sort of cleaned his room. And he got me an i tunes gift card.
I had time to write an extra half page of Ulysses for my Glove Project and I worked on a new slinky drawing. I took a long walk in the park with my girlfriend , and watched an episode of Glee. And I called my mom. I was very happy with this day.
A long time ago, before I was married and even a little after, I did not want to be a mom. But my therapist convinced me I would be happier having tried, than not, and I trusted him so I did try.
First I had a miscarriage. It was very early in the process, but kind of traumatic because of a lot of medical problems that made the ending of my pregnancy last longer than the time I spent being pregnant. The positive outcome was that it helped me feel much less ambivalent about motherhood. I felt ready for the real thing. Until I learned I was going to have a boy. When the chirpy moron on the phone told me the amnio results I said “what the hell am I going to do with a boy?”.
But, I am happy to report, it all worked out. The boy is now 16. He is exactly the child I would have wanted if I had known what to wish for.
We are not a very sentimental family, but I will say I had a very happy Mother’s day.