Archive for November, 2010

A Rainy Day

November 4, 2010

I have been hard pressed to find something to say lately. For all those who know me even just a little that sounds like an impossibility. For weeks I have been consumed with upcoming surgery for my left ear, which was pretty much a useless appendage, and the mid term elections which were sure to give republicans a nice pat on the back for being insufferable windbags for two years.

Now both events are behind me and I feel like I can breathe again. The surgery wasn’t as horrible in the end as I thought it would be and my hearing is definitely improved. I took time off of work so I can stay home while feeling pretty good and do what I want to do. So far that hasn’t amounted to much. I imagined piles of gloves being done and my holiday card drawn and copied, maybe a big bold new drawing. But this is the first day that I have felt the energy to do much of anything and also a rare day when there isn’t anyplace I have to be.My work output has been pretty much the same as it ever is.

The election produced the expected results, more or less. A few tea party candidates lost big and I hope it’s the last we see or hear from them (yes, that would be you Christine O’Donnell, Sharron Angle and Carl Palladino). Rand Paul won his election and John Boehner is walking around like a peacock in heat. You can see his shot of being a powerful big boy in his eyes. They shine with fear and excitement. He wants to talk all the time but he wants to say the right thing because he wants to keep the glory of this moment forever. It’s inevitable that the “average American” who flung Nancy Pelosi out and threw John Boy in will get tired of him fairly quickly when not only are they still standing on the unemployment line but also scared of losing whatever gains they made in health insurance safety nets and there is still grid lock at every turn.

I am glad this election is over. It was depressing hearing Brian Williams sound like any news caster on Fox¬† going on every night for at least three weeks about these big gains sure to come, as if the news had already happened. He had nothing helpful or informative to add to the discussion. Just more fear mongering and stirring of the pot. I have new found respect for Rachel Maddow who speaks with her own voice and doesn’t give in to that tidal wave of sameness.

At any rate, none of this is especially insightful which is why I haven’t written. I am always having a tug of war in my brain about what I want to do and who I want to be and what is actually the reality of my life. I have that same tug of war inside my head when it comes to what is happening out there in the nation, and in the world. I want to be optimistic and believe that it will all be okay. I console myself by reading bits about the aftermath of W.W.I and the beginning of W.W.II, especially in Europe where life was so much worse than it ever has been here, except maybe during the civil war. Fascists were actually worse than republicans and they had way more power. But this is a strange sort of optimism. It’s not really believing in the greatness of people. It’s more like I am acknowledging that they could almost always be worse. And that goes for me too. I want to live to my potential but I can’t very well do that if I second guess myself all the time. So, no cozy day time naps for this girl on this day. Yellow rubber gloves are waiting to be written on and blank paper needs my ink lines.

The politicians blabber on all day from dusk to dawn without getting much done and they don’t seem to feel guilty about that at all. I think it would be better for our country if they did take a nice nap every day, while I got to work.